One such piece of wisdom came into my experience years ago, when my aunt, Valerie, said that "your pain is caused by your resistance to what is." It was difficult for me to understand the time, but something compelled me to write it down. It's only now that I realize just how much that applies to everything: our interpersonal relationships, our health, conflicts at work, and yes, even our path to abundance. I'm not trying to suggest that simply dropping resistance is the magic pill that solves all that ails us. But I am suggesting that the very act of dropping resistance and surrendering to what is is precisely what gets us into the very flow necessary to attract the solution, which I might add could very well be entirely different from what we expect.
Flow state is the place where we manifest our desires. So, how do we get into it? The first step is recognition and acceptance of what is. What is is the current state of things. In Eckhart Tolle terms, it is the Now. Resisting the Now will only cause us pain, so we might as well simply accept it for what it is. Accept it without judgment. This is not to say that we can't desire it to be different, for this how we create movement in our lives. Remaining stagnant in life is also a form of pain that comes from resisting our desire for something new, therefore, it stands to reason that we must also accept those wants. Only then can we truly step into a flow-state that leads us along the path toward a life of abundance.
The truth of the matter is, I've identified plenty of moments over the years where I've resisted what is only to find myself stubbornly attempting to walk against the current, and only when I dropped the resistance have I been able to flow toward something truly better. My most recent resistance within the financial arena has involved laying out larger sums of money. Not surprising, right? I mean, we're all excited about money coming in, but who really cares to shell it out? While it's only natural to resist spending larger sums of money, the question should be asked, "Do I need to allow this money to be spent in order to propel me in the direction of what I truly desire?" In some instances, the answer might be "Yes." You see, I have a vision for my life, like most people undoubtedly do. This vision is so strong and so clear. I see myself with freedom beyond my wildest dreams living a life where time and money simply exist as tools at my disposal rather than as obstacles. Along the path to this desired future, I am inspired to take certain actions. Those actions are crystal clear. One involves building my business, and the other involves paying off the mortgage on a rental property. Both of these things sound very exciting, don't they? They are exciting, and when I think about each of them, I am easily able to move up the emotional scale into those higher-level emotions. That being said, just because an action is inspired and aligned doesn't mean there won't ever be any resistance involved. You see, both of these things involve large expenditures: business purchases, estimated tax payments, and large principal-only mortgage payments just to name a few. It's easy to feel resistant to parting with larger sums of money. Many of us are working to overcome scarcity mindset, an affliction that creates within us a desire to hoard our money, obstructing the very flow of abundance. What we must realize is that holding on too tight to something that must flow out of our experience might just block us from our desired outcome. If the action is truly inspired, it is also aligned with the desired outcome. Therefore the desired outcome might well be used in order to soften or eliminate the resistance altogether. I just made an estimated tax payment, an action I don't particularly enjoy. But I was able to soften my resistance to this action and accomplish it by visualizing my growing business and thinking about how wonderful it is to have so much extra abundance flowing that it has even created the need for me to do this. As I prepare to write a rather large check to reduce the principal of the mortgage on that rental, I imagine the freedom I will feel when that obligation has been fully met. As I picture my future self with all of the freedom she desires, I feel a sense of peace wash over me and have the realization that my resistance has been softened, and I've begun to climb the emotional scale toward a much higher place. It is from that place that I take my action, and flow toward my desired result.
Recently, Tosha Silver, author of It's Not Your Money, has jumped in to save me from my resistance to large expenditures with two lines from her famous "Change Me Prayer." The two lines read as follows:
"Let everything that needs to go, go. Let everything that needs to come, come."
While I do not recite the entire prayer regularly, I do recite these two lines most mornings as I get out of bed. I do this in order to remind myself of the importance of allowing things to flow both into and out of my experience, and more fully allow myself to accept and surrender to what is. If what is is something that is supposed to exit our experience and we resist it, we greatly restrict our own ability to flow into the very life we are working to create for ourselves, so it begs the question: Which do we choose, our desired future or our resistance?