Money After Moving

I've been on a temporary hiatus for about the past month or so.  I've still been coaching clients, but my
writing has been paused while my partner and I have been in the process of moving.  Why did moving seem so much easier in my younger years? When I was in my 20's, it involved pizza, beer, and one really long day.  Now, we even hired movers, but somehow it all seems so much more involved...  Funny how life shifts... 

During the chaos associated with moving, learning a new commute, officially exiting the NYC rental we'd been in for seven years, we've managed to keep one foot in front of the other getting the basics done.  That being said, there is a lot to reorganize, and I don't just mean possessions and decor in the new home.

Revisiting the Budget

The first thing that needs to be done is to revisit the budget.  We anticipated what this would look like before the move, but it needs to be updated with real numbers, as the data rolls in.  I like the 50/30/20 budgeting system, popularized by Elizabeth Warren because it's pretty easy to use in order to evaluate the different areas of life and whether or not your spending is in balance.  It suggests that 50% of your after-tax income goes to fixed expenses, 30% to flexible (or lifestyle), and 20% to goals.  Most months, the fixed expenses and goals category remain the same as the month prior because our plan hasn't changed much.  This leaves most of the closer monitoring to be in the flexible (or lifestyle) category.  In my household, this involves, keeping the grocery budget on track, accounting for events that come up, entertainment, etc.  In all honestly, we've been spending in precisely the same way for so many years, that we haven't had to do much with our budget in a very long time.  But now, we need to revisit it.  We need to make certain that we've accounted for all of our fixed expenses and calculate the percentage of our income that is being absorbed by it.  Prior to the move, we knew it would still be under 50%.  That was a part of evaluating the affordability of the new home prior to purchase; however, we still need to update and fine-tune those numbers on our official budget...and when I say "official budget," know that I'm literally making a chart in excel or word.  You are welcome to use whatever software feels good to you; just use what works for you, and try to be consistent.  Anyhow, the fixed portion of the budget oftentimes feels to me like the baseline.  Those expenses aren't going away any time soon and don't change very easily.   So, being clear about what that is and keeping it to a manageable percentage of income is key.  We will also need to re-evaluate the goals category.  We had been saving quite a lot between retirement and downpayment accounts, and now it's time to decide how to refocus our attention in that category.  Is there a new goal that wasn't being addressed before?  A new car?  Pay down the mortgage or another debt?  Beef up retirement savings?  Increase liquid savings?  Once this has been addressed, we will look at the flexible spending section and see if there are any subcategories that have changed due to the change in living circumstances.  

Revisiting the Emergency Fund

It probably goes without saying that if our monthly expenses change, the amount we need for emergencies might as well.  Experts vary on their recommendations for what constitutes a fully-funded emergency savings.  While some suggest 3-6 months of expenses, others prefer a solid 12 months.  Honestly, I feel the most powerful when I'm holding more liquid savings rather than less, and prefer to be closer to that year mark.  That being said, I also look at it as a bare-bones budget rather than my regular one.  If things really went sideways, I'd absolutely switch into "conserve funds mode."  Regardless of which target we're aiming for, once we've revisit our budget we will also recalculate our desired Emergency  Fund dollar amount.  If we feel the need to beef it up, that will become the most immediate item for the goals category; otherwise, we'll set that amount to the side and move on.

Insurance Review

A property purchase is a big change.  If there are people dependent on you; they need to have access to capital if something should happen to you.  While you might already have a term life insurance policy; it might be worth reviewing it again.  Do you need more?  Also, make sure you have homeowners insurance and that your coverage levels are appropriate.

Beneficiaries

Much like checking up on your insurance, how are you holding title to things like your home?  Do you have a will in place?  While you're at it, do you have the correct beneficiaries on your various accounts?  These are all things that need to be checked upon when a major event happens (like a home purchase).  We worked with our real estate lawyer to ensure that we were holding title in a manner that made the other person the default owner in the event that one of us was to pass.  I only bring this up because for those of you that are unmarried, you may not want to accidentally own property with someone's mother.  On the other fronts, we are all updated on beneficiaries but need to do will updates.

Moving is so much more than shlepping boxes, it's marks a number of financial shifts as well.  In addition to changing your address with a zillion places, it also requires that we revisit a number of our core financial documents.

Uncuffed: Belief and Abundance

There are moments in life where you glance around you and realize that everything you see in your life has been placed there by your own design.  Everything that is there is a manifestation of your own energetic outputs.  Although, arguably, you may have been co-creating your reality with a little help from someone else. Nonetheless, it was you at work, and everything you see in your surroundings is the physical manifestation of the level of consciousness you were in at the moment of each particular creation.  

What happens if you don't like some of that which you've created?  

It's never a problem.  You can simply go ahead and create again.  It's really no harder than changing the sheets on your bed, and yet the human experience gets so stuck in the mind, choosing to tie each life circumstance to the identity or sense of self which is entirely misguided.  You are your internal self, not the egoic mind which likes to mislead you into thinking it is the essence of who you are and very much in control, but that couldn't be further from the truth.  You are pure, positive energy and capable of manifesting whatever it is you want.  I mean, you have thus far.  Perhaps it's just time to make our choices more deliberately.  The Universal Law of Belief is so simple.  It states that we can have whatsoever we want to long as we can give up the belief that we can't have it.  Doesn't that sound easy?  It is easy, but that should be taken with a warning, as it works equally well with negative beliefs.  If someone spends their energy believing in something that inevitably will not serve them well, they will also attract that into their experience.

We have many dangerous beliefs that serve to separate us from the abundance we seek.  One such example may be the belief in debt.  I've heard it said by many that "debt is simply a way of life."  The very nature of debt is a negative currency.  It creates a moment in time that we were not living in the now, but rather selecting an experience in the now that wasn't in alignment with what we actually had.  So, we brokered a deal to have this slightly misaligned experience rather than wait for it and as a direct result, we saddle ourselves in the present moment with sandbags of the past holding us down.  Ironically, again, we designed this for ourselves.  We sentenced ourselves to continue about lives we don't absolutely love because of obligations we wish we didn't have because of that one misaligned moment in the past.  

Why did that misaligned moment happen anyway?

Again, part of it goes back to a belief in lack.  If we believe that we don't have enough and that we can only have that which we want if we mortgage our future in order to have it, we create a cycle of scarcity and lack.  When the facts are that we have everything we need at our disposal.  There is also a part of the human experience that is craving completeness, and when dissatisfaction comes, the egoic mind sends us spiraling into the physical, grasping at new belongings, vacations, cars, and other things that excite us, giving us a temporary high, a feeling of completeness that can never possibly last because it comes from a place that is temporary.  The journey is harder and longer when you turn toward your inner self and put the time into understanding the emptiness that you are trying to fill.  But only by turning to that inward place can you find true alignment and the peace that comes from realizing the true self.  From that position, there is no amount of "stuff" that will satisfy you more than your own alignment and those moments of spending more than will fall to the wayside, being replaced by a deeper satisfaction in the current moment and sense of self.

There is something incredibly freeing about liberating the self from the constraints of our modern belief in debt, working too much, scarcity, arbitrary societal rules to which we have handcuffed ourselves.  Amazingly, when we unlock our own shackles, we find ourselves unwilling to lock ourselves back up again.  It really does make a lot of sense, doesn't it?  Why choose to live in debt if you can simply clear it away and be released of your chains?  Why choose to work more than makes you happy just so that you can choose to continue maintaining obligations you don't even care about.  By these "obligations," we simply mean not to maintain a life of excess.  More stuff needs more space, more energy, and more of your precious resources of time and money.  You may be working very hard to maintain stuff that you don't really care much about when in all actuality you care much more deeply about your time, relationships, and sense of inner peace.  And yet you filled a void with extra stuff and obligations that have shackled you to working more than the share you care to, and it begs the question: Is the tradeoff worth it?  No one can answer the question except you.  Although, I can tell you from my perspective that any regret I fear having in life relates to the quality I've lived and loved rather than the car I drove, shoes I wore or furnishings in my home.  If I choose to place my priorities in the latter at the expense of my time, I very well might be creating a life of regret.  Thanks, but no thanks.

I suppose I haven't told you to do anything with your money in this post.  Rather, I've asked you to step back and ask yourself what you believe; what you value; what you prioritize; what you long never to regret.  I believe you'll have an inner knowing about this and you'll know what you need to do if only you're willing to turn inside and do the work.

Roadmap to Freedom: Budgeting and Resistance

The budget is one of our most powerful tools in personal finance.  It represents us taking control of our money, rather than having our money control us, and yet it is one of the tools that is met with the most resistance...It is important to remember that the very nature of resistance is fear itself.  So, when we resist doing our budget, it becomes important to dig into that fear, and also to practice giving ourselves grace.  

The 50/30/20 Budget:

Let me just start with a disclaimer before going much further.  I'm not the kind of personal finance person that loves sitting around and doing a budget every month.  So, I like to keep it simple.  I basically use the 50/30/20 Budget as a baseline, but I am also very willing to adjust those percentages and categories however I see fit.  Of course, I only do that once I know where I am sitting in the first place.  The basic gist of the 50/30/20 Budget is as follows: Everything falls into 3 basic categories and gets assigned a percentage of your take-home pay (which is actually your net pay plus you add back in elected deferrals, but not taxes withheld).  No more than 50% should go to fixed expenses; 30% to flexible (or lifestyle) expenses; 20% to goals (like saving, investing, paying off debt).  

Resistance to Budgeting:

Okay, now that we've paused to talk logistics of budgeting (or at least my general preferred method), let's return to discussing resistance in the area of budgeting.  When looking at the three category types, fixed, flexible (lifestyle), and goals, is there any immediate resistance popping up?  Do you fear learning what your fixed expenses really are?  If they're above the 50% guideline, will you judge yourself negatively for "not leaving yourself enough wiggle room" in the other categories?  When you think about the flexible category, also known as "lifestyle spending," are you afraid to learn that your spending is somehow "out of control?"  Even if you did learn such a thing, what would happen?  Would you feel somehow required to beat yourself up for your past actions, and would it do you any good if you did?  When you think about the goals category, do you feel anger and fear over the debt you are holding or the retirement savings account you "haven't done enough with?"  It seems to me that the resistance around budgeting may have a lot to do with our inability to let go of self-judgment.  I want to let you in on a little secret:  beating myself up has never made me a better person, but forgiving myself has.

We forgive others a thousand times over, and yet struggle to extend the same grace to ourselves.  Remember that the nature of judgment is poisonous to the development of our inner selves because it separates us from love.  In fact, love is one of the primary reasons to work out a budget.  Again, it doesn't need to be a complicated one, but we must love ourselves enough to create a spending plan that allows us to live our best lives.  In all fairness, that's all a budget really is anyway.  

I spoke to a client (who has given me permission to share) about this topic and she expressed that "I think my resistance stems from a combination of just the confusion factor of keeping track of it all, and leftover fear from when I didn't have enough."  This remarkable piece of self-reflection is specific to this particular client's situation, and yet I think it resembles much of the resistance many of us face when it comes to budgeting.  I think many of us feel as though there's entirely too much to keep track of accurately.  First, I want to say that these feelings are perfectly valid. Then I want to share yet another little secret.  Once I figured out my budget using the 50/30/20 plan, it greatly minimized the number of things I'm actively trying to keep track of every month.  Fixed expenses really don't change from month to month.  So, unless you're doing something to intentionally change one of them (like move), it's not likely to be a category with much movement.  The goals category doesn't change all that much for me month to month either.  Retirement contributions and liquid savings are fairly automated.  Debt repayment could vary if you're actively trying to pay off something.  But in all actuality, you probably also won't have a lot to keep track of in this category either.  That primarily leaves your flexible/lifestyle category.  These things will probably vary and will be the ones you are watching out for month to month.  After a short period of time, you are very likely to see patterns, which makes things much easier.  

The second part of my client's observation is equally interesting.  This person cites "leftover fear from when I didn't have enough."  If you've ever endured an eviction, a bankruptcy, or even simply a time in your past when there wasn't enough, you might have a resistance to budgeting because scarcity mindset is being triggered.  You don't want to see that there's "not enough," therefore you don't want to see at all.  This scarcity mindset relates directly to our need to identify our "old story" where money is concerned.  In doing so, we will be able to identify what strengths we gained, but also the areas in which we experience resistance as well.  The budget could very easily be a place where this old story pops up and decides to make itself known to you.  When this happens, it is critical that we examine the old story for what it is, old and in the past.  Let's honor the parts that are deserving and release ourselves from the rest.

Reframing Budgeting:

I'd like to suggest that we work to reframe the idea of budgeting in our minds.  Rather than it being a source of pain, suffering, and a reason to beat ourselves up, perhaps we can see it for what it really is, a roadmap to freedom.  If freedom is your ultimate destination, you need a good roadmap to get you there.  It will contain a variety of options, and ultimately you will choose which one you will travel.  When you do, it will be an informed decision because you will have studied your roadmap and chosen the path that's right for you.

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The Power of Wiggle Room

Since Memorial Day weekend, I've been in the middle of a real estate transaction.  Like everything else, living in New York City seems to add an additional difficulty factor, and everything is just that much more complicated and takes just that much more time.  Four months later, and we're just now about to sign papers for closing.

We're purchasing a unit in a co-op building, and for those not familiar with what that entails, it is very similar to a condo in that it typically consists of multiple units housed within the same building.   When you buy a condo, you own your unit within the building.  A co-op operates a bit differently.  In a co-op, you are buying shares of the building, much like you buy shares of stock.  So, basically, you become a stockholder of sorts within the business entity that owns the building itself.  In turn, you also get the lease for your unit.  Because of the manner in which ownership is held, co-op boards tend to take a lot of care in screening potential buyers.  This process involves putting together an extensive "board package" which gets submitted to the board to review.  The board package includes letters of recommendation and a plethora of financial information.  Once it's been reviewed, buyers go through an interview process.  This is all in addition to the process required of the lender.  

So, we had finally made it through all of these hoops and were scheduled to close when hurricane Ida came through New York.  As a result, two days before we were scheduled to close, FEMA required all of the banks in 4 of the 5 boroughs to pause their closings and get new appraisals to assess for potential damage.  Now, our new place is on a hill on the 20th floor of a building.  So, no damage at all!  But, we were required to wait nonetheless.  The new closing date was scheduled a full 19 days after the original one.  That's a significant difference when it comes to planning!

When we started trying to mentally plan for this move, we were tempted to try and have as little overlap as possible in terms of having both our rental and the co-op.  We could have given notice at the first of the month so as to minimize the overlap and our need to pay for not one, but two places to live.  At the time, this seemed like the wisest financial move to make.  But then we got to thinking about how nice it would be to not feel rushed, to have enough overlap to allow the process to simply happen rather than racing to the finish line.  So, we didn't give notice.  Thank goodness we didn't.  Had we given notice, we'd be in a mad dash to get our things moved on time.  Quite frankly because of all the coordination required in moving into a co-op, there's very little shot we would have made our self-imposed deadline.

Sometimes where our finances are concerned, we get so focused on every single penny that we forget the value of building in some wiggle room!  There's a value trade-off to consider.  The extra time (and breathing room) was tremendously valuable in our situation and worth the possibility of being doubled up for a month.  Thank goodness we build in that buffer.  This is also worth considering when working on your budget.  I am a huge advocate for a tight budget, but also feel that failing to leave a little bit of room to breath is critical.  This also applies to an emergency savings; having 3-6 months of a "ramen only budget" is a great start, but I'd prefer a little more padding than that.  What about retirement planning?  I can survive off of this lesser amount, but what amount will really allow me to thrive?

On the journey toward financial independence, we find ourselves rushing toward a goal, and why not?  I mean, that's our freedom!  Of course, we're in a hurry!  But perhaps it's worth slowing down just a little and considering whether you'd be happier building in a little more wiggle room whether that be regarding your timeline, savings goal, or something else.  

A Conduit for Abundance

One of my dearest friends flew into town for a convention this weekend.  Since the convention was to start bright and early Sunday morning, he planned to arrive Saturday afternoon giving us plenty of time to catch up before his obligations kicked in.  

Normally, on a Saturday afternoon, I would be doing some work or otherwise trying to "accomplish" something, but this day was different.  I got up in the morning and took my compost to the farmer's market.  From there I went on a two-mile hike through the wooded area of Inwood Hill Park. When I returned home, I did a little bit of writing, a lengthy meditation, and jammed out to some feel-good music while I was getting ready.  Rather than steal away a few hours for myself, I opted to allot myself most of the day...  I really needed that...

My partner and I met our friend downtown at a trendy little bar for cocktails and appetizers, which we followed up with dinner at a cozy little Persian restaurant.  The truth is that we dropped a fair amount of money that night.  Nothing outlandish, but we certainly weren't watching it.  That was a moment of recognition for both of us.  We realized that we're doing so well and that our habits are so solid that neither of us was even thinking about the money.  Sometimes, it's nice to have those moments...  

Not so long ago, I wrote a piece about planning for the reopening (of everything, really) by addressing your budget so that you don't suddenly find that you've gone backward out of excitement that the world is open again.  While the experience this weekend was absolutely aligned with that idea (because we have been planning for more social activities), it also highlighted another very important lesson on abundance: being a conduit.

According to Oxford, a conduit is "a channel for conveying water or other fluid."  If you really think about it, don't you want to be a conduit for abundance?  We oftentimes believe that we want abundance to flow to us, but perhaps we might reframe that; what we really need is for abundance to flow through us. To illustrate the concept, let's consider a pipe with water flowing through it.  As long as the water is permitted to exit the tube at the far end, there will continue to be room for more water to flow into the tube.  Now, should you do something to stop it up at the far end, eventually no more water can enter the tube; the tube becomes full, cannot take any more, and the water begins to spew out everywhere but the intended place.  Our money works much the same way.  We must loosen the tightness of the grip we have on our money in order to make space for more to flow in.  Now, can we be incredibly deliberate at the pace of which we allow money to flow outward?  Certainly.  However, if you don't allow money to flow on from you, you will create a backup that disrupts the flow of money including that which was intended to be entering your experience.  

So, how can we be deliberate conduits of abundance?  Each end every time we vote with our dollar to spend at a store we appreciate, or pay down a little more debt, or visit the restaurant you haven't been to in ages, you turn on the flow of abundance in their direction.  In turn, you make more space for that very same abundance to flow to you.  Attracting abundance into our experience isn't about white-knuckling our finances, it's about allowing the deliberate flow of money through our experience.  As it flows in, we have the precious opportunity to utilize it to meet our wants and needs while simultaneously allowing it to move on.  In this way, we open ourselves to receive more.

For Further Reading:

Reopening and Your Budget

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Preparing for Freedom

Sometimes life feels to be a bit of a maze with twists and turns; we run down one corridor only to find a wall standing between us and our intended destination. So we turn around and run in another direction; perhaps, even faster than before.  Mostly, we're running toward one universal target: Freedom.  

Do you often find yourself in places you don't want to be?  Wake up on Monday morning, flood your body with caffeination to replace the motivation that simply isn't there?  If this is your Monday ritual, you may be experiencing a form of resistance.  If you close your eyes and picture your life without barriers, what does it look like?  Where are you?  What are you doing?  More importantly, what barriers are standing between you and actually living this life?

There's a plague it seems, a plague where people spend their time doing things they don't want to be doing to support a life they aren't convinced they really chose but rather stepped into like a pair of coveralls. Beneath the coveralls lies the real you.  It takes bravery to peel off the coveralls and step into the truth of who you really are, but your happiness lies there and you must believe that you're worth it.  The Universal Law of Self Worth confirms that you can only attract that which you feel worthy of having, therefore the first step is a mental one, it's to give yourself permission to admit that you actually want that life you see when you close your eyes.  This is a part of the expansion of who you are and it might come with growing pains, as we've all become accustomed to simply adopting the life that's been laid out before us.

In order to pull the string a little further on analyzing the resistance that we experience when slammed up against the barrier between where we are and where we want to be, it might be of value to consider wisdom found within the Universal Law of Dissonance.  It states that you will experience mental discomfort when you hold two conflicting beliefs or your actions are in conflict with what you believe.  In this state, the only resolution is to change the action to align with the belief or change the belief to align with the action.  In the second case, this can either result in the rationalization of behavior or a genuine realization that the belief that's been being held onto isn't actually authentic to the person.  If the belief is "work should be fulfilling," and the action is to go to a job that brings you no satisfaction day in and day out, this is a conflict and you're experiencing a state of resistance.  The good news is that this resistance highlight that which you do want, but it also requires that you investigate whether the action or belief needs to change in order to return you to optimal alignment.  Obviously, these examples provided have been within the theme of work because that's an area of dissatisfaction that impacts so many, but it's important to recognize that this holds true with many other aspects of life.    

While it's a wonderful psychological exercise to tell ourselves that in fact we deserve the level of freedom that we see when we close our eyes, and we've come to recognize that our actions are disharmonious with our beliefs, how do we prepare our financial lives to support us in stepping out of the coveralls and into a life with the freedom we desire.

Step 1: Stabilize Income Needs

There are a few components to this first step really, but the gist of it boils down to one key idea: the less we're on the hook for each month the less money needs to be generated.  Now, I'm not suggesting that you stop getting haircuts or cancel your weekly family pizza nights, but I am suggesting that you look at your spending plan and consider what is essential.  If there's any debt on the table, you will probably want to eliminate that because every single dollar that you spend on debt is a dollar that you are spending paying for your past rather than living in your now or preparing for your future (which is actually the next step).  Once you mentally take your debt off the table, take a look at your other spending.  If it meant you could obtain the ultimate freedom would it be worth driving a less expensive car?  Getting fewer haircuts?  A cheaper cell phone bill? Getting a roommate?  The answer should only be yes on items that inspire you but realize this.  Every day you are trading your freedom for dollars.  Chose wisely.  Make sure that anything getting those dollars is worth it.  

While you may not eliminate some luxuries from your life (hey, I get it, I got a massage yesterday), it is imperative that you walk away from this step knowing how much your life costs you now, how much it would cost you without debt, and how much you really need to have coming in.  You'd be surprised how few people actually know the answer to this.

Step 2:  Secure the Future

People tether themselves to a misguided notion of stability due to a lack of understanding about what they will need to finance their future.  To be specific, retirement is a key concern.  Few people are prepared for it, and living under the limiting belief that they must continue to slave away at something they do not love in order to be certain that "everything will be okay" when that date comes.  Wouldn't it feel better to simply take care of the future, by securing your traditional retirement, and then moving on?  Surely you can't enjoy the idea of spending the next 20 years worrying about it.  By knowing what your income needs are (and projecting what they will be), you can determine what you need your nest egg to grow to in order to have those needs met in retirement.  For example, if I grow my nest egg to a million dollars, and withdraw 4% annually, it will generate $40,000 of income.  Does that satisfy my projected future income need?  If so, I know my target... But a million dollars is a lot of money, right? Remember, you aren't trying to save a million dollars, you're trying to grow your nest egg to a million dollars. Let's back out of this.  The Rule of 72 tells me that if my money is making 10% annually on average (similar to the S&P 500), it would take my money 7 years to double.  If I'm 40 years old, I could theoretically get my money to double 3 or more times before achieving a traditional retirement age.  Say, I look up what is currently in my retirement accounts and see that I have $150,000 invested.  If it doubles 3 times, that becomes $1,200,000.  Once it grows to that amount, if I withdraw 4% every year, that's actually $48,000 per year.  FYI, 4% is considered a "safe withdrawal rate," meaning you should be able to take this amount without actually disrupting your nest egg.  Using this math, you should be able to figure out what you actually need to put into your retirement account and by what age in order to allow the power of compounding to do the rest of the work for you.  Once you've done this you have achieved, CoastFI, which is a level of financial independence where you can simply coast until retirement because you've put in enough to allow compounding to do the rest.  This also means that you can turn your attention to bridge investing, investing in non-retirement accounts to help you replace portions of your income prior to your traditional retirement age.

Step 3:  Replace Your Paycheck

If you've stabilized your income needs, and secured your traditional retirement, you've already eliminated some of the barriers between you and your ultimate freedom.  The next step is to begin working on replacing your paycheck.  This could be done in so many ways.  You could do it through bridge investing, rental property, starting a business doing something that aligns more with the life you are trying to design for yourself...  The sky is the limit.  I personally am combining these strategies, which works for me.  Some people choose to primarily do this via bridge investing, but for me, the simplest and most effective question is simple: How can I replace my income either passively or by doing something that aligns with me?

Step 4: Live Your Life

Once you've navigated the three above steps, you've basically achieved your freedom.  While there might be little things here and there to add in, it doesn't have to be overly complicated. You can live a life where your daily activities align with your value system regardless of what that looks like.  You deserve it, and you can achieve it.  

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