Practicing Gratitude to Attract Abundance

As the holidays approach, I find that my thoughts keep wandering back to my niece.  She's a kind and intelligent little girl.  She loves to laugh, sing, make up stories, and is often the case with other kind and intelligent children, she desperately wants a puppy.  She dialed this order in to Santa, her parents, the tooth fairy, and anyone who might listen a solid year ago...  Her parents, on the other hand, weren't nearly in such a hurry to grant this fairly adamant wish.  Like any intelligent set of parents, they wanted to test their daughter's ability to handle the responsibility of a puppy.  They cleverly devised a system.  They drew up a chart with a list of chores that she should be doing weekly.  It was explained to her that she would need to prove that she could: A.) Do the chores, and B.) Make this a routine that didn't require them to constantly remind her about.  In other words, they were looking for initiative and responsibility.  Could their daughter remember that there were things that she needed to do without her parents' constant reminder?  Could she handle the responsibility of completing the same boring and occasionally even annoying task week in and week out?  On the surface, this test seems simple enough; however, closer inspection reveals a rather clever design.  My niece is still a very little girl.  So, her chores are incredibly simple: watering house plants, putting toys away, making her bed, cleaning her room.  

My niece's chore list all seem to have a commonality.  They all require her to treat something in her life with respect.  For example, take something simple like putting the toys away.  Have you ever noticed that parents get very upset with their children when this doesn't happen?  They don't like the mess, but they recognize that every time they buy a toy for their child, it costs them money.  Toys cost money; money costs time.  When the toys are left out to be stepped on and broken, I can't help but wonder if some of the frustration comes from the idea that their time has been devalued.  The simple act of putting the toys away when they're not in use is a highly suggestive act.  It reveals an underlying attitude of respect for the object, and gratitude for having it in your life. Moreover, parents seem to be a bit more generous when they feel like the items they've given are appreciated.  In fact, isn't this just human nature?  No one wants to give you a gift if you didn't appreciate the previous one, right?

This situation involving my niece provides some very real-world insight into the practice of gratitude.  

Recently, we've discussed several laws of the universe, ideologies containing elements of universal truths intended to help us navigate the flow of life.  Some of these universal laws are centered around the idea of "awareness."  The Universal Law of Gratitude is almost entirely focused on awareness and is one of the building blocks of an abundant life.

The Universal Law of Gratitude is simple in its suggestion that gratitude breeds abundance.  In other words, the more things you are grateful for, the more you will attract things into your experience to be grateful for.  A gratitude practice is the cornerstone of a Law of Attraction practice.  This is also why it pays to treat our money with respect, even if it appears that you only have a little of it.  It is absolutely imperative that you handle that which you already have with love and respect.  Sometimes, I hear people sing songs of complaint about how "broke" they are, and that their rent is too high, or that they "can't" save money.  I've been guilty of this myself in past years, but I must say, we have to practice a different way.  These ideas are quite literally money repellant.  We must reframe these ideas.  Again, I repeat: This takes practice.  If we want to have more in our life experiences to appreciate, we must demonstrate that we are grateful for what we've already got.  Otherwise, we are simply demonstrating with our behavior that we don't want the responsibility of having more of it.  

Money is a responsibility, and just like my niece wants to be worthy of having a puppy, I too want to be worthy.  I want to be worthy of the responsibility of handling more money.  So, first I must demonstrate my gratitude for that which has already been entrusted to my care.  As I've referred to before, we must stop the record of limiting beliefs that we've been playing over and over again.  As illustrated by the previous example, none of us are "broke."  We cannot tie our identities to such ideas, and must replace them with ones that lend themselves to gratitude: I am perfectly capable.  Rather than the complaint that "my rent is too high," perhaps it is worth considering whether or not you would like to be a homeowner one day?  That might also be considered an expensive endeavor.  So, a replacement idea might be in the realization that this experience is preparing you for the responsibilities of homeownership.  It's entirely too easy to claim that "I can't save money" if you're looking at the gap between where your savings account is at currently versus where you would like it to be.  But could you bring yourself to look at each dollar you did save with love and admiration?  Could you appreciate each and every one of those dollars and even yourself for what you were able to do?  If you can love and appreciate what you did, and what is already there, you are demonstrating through your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that you want the responsibility of more to come into your experience.  You can choose to use your attitude to either attract abundance or to repel it.  The choice is yours.

Practicing gratitude for that which we can see is only one part of the equation; practicing gratitude for that which we don't see is the other part.  It often feels more difficult.  Interestingly, it seems easy for us to notice the "lack" of something in our experience.  Again, this focus on "lack" is directly related to the limiting beliefs that we must continuously work to catch and release.  I would challenge you to work on being grateful for that which you cannot easily see.  Look at what's there. Ask yourself: What would I really notice if it were missing?  My health.  The fact that I have savings and available credit.  I would miss that I can keep up with my rent/mortgage/bills.  If suddenly, it was taken for me, I would really miss the fact that I get to work from home and have wonderful benefits like health, dental, vision, 401k, and many others.  I would miss the overwhelmingly positive response I'm getting from people regarding my business.  I would miss the relationships in my life.  Perhaps, if I would miss the absence of these things so intensely, they are the very things that deserve my gratitude now.

As Americans enter a time where giving thanks is a deeply ingrained tradition, I challenge you to look at your own gratitude practice.  How can you practice gratitude every, single day, and demonstrate through your behavior that you are ready, willing, and able to accept the responsibility of more abundance in your experience?

...and for those of you that may be wondering, yes, my niece is getting her puppy.

Align to Design a Life You Love

I've been working to design a life I love for some time now, and things are certainly headed in the right direction.  Some of this work has been on my own, while some of it has been in a group setting with my friends at The Fioneers.  There's something about the process of deliberately designing your life that requires you to stop and take stock of that which you've built around you because the truth is that there is nothing you've surrounded yourself with that has come to you by accident.  Much of our current life's circumstance is the direct result of our past thoughts, feelings, and subsequently behaviors.  

Ten years ago, I was living on the West Coast, living a life by my own design.  I was producing a lot of theater, had wonderful friends, and enjoyed my community.  I had also designed my way into a situation where I was felt a bit stuck.  I couldn't see a path to a higher income or higher level of theatrical success, both of which were important to me.  These were desires which were starting to come up within me.  I could envision myself returning to New York (where I had previously lived), and having greater income opportunities as well as theatrical ones.  What began to happen was remarkable.  I remembered how much I enjoyed working as a substitute teacher when I had been living in the city, and the pleasure I derived from helping students.  I remembered the vibrant energy that filled me as I walked through the bustling streets on a Spring afternoon.  I was inspired to do a bit of research and learned about a handful of programs that existed in New York City that were geared toward training teachers.  They were remarkable opportunities: a Master's Degree with no added debt, and a salary while earning the proper credential.  I knew instantaneously that I would be accepted into one of these programs, and return to the city.  

The Universal Law of Commitment suggests that the key to having that which you desire is in having no indecisiveness whatsoever.  It states that if you commit to a thing that aligns with your overall purpose, things seem to (almost magically) fall into place.  

Fall into place, they did.  It seemed almost absurd that these programs would select me when they had so many local applicants that might seem less of a gamble than I.  But the truth is that I didn't even give my mind the opportunity to think about that.  I believed with everything in my being that this was going to happen for me; and then it happened.  This manifestation felt miraculous to me, but let me be clear.  It wasn't without action on my part.  I did my part mentally and emotionally first.  I was fully committed to the understanding that this would happen for me.  That being said, people aren't giving you jobs, fellowships, opportunities you don't ask for!  In other words, I had to ask for what I wanted.  Then, I had to take inspired actions.  I had to apply for the program, collect recommendations, prepare for group interviews, fly across the country to interview for these programs.  I didn't wish a wish, do nothing, and then be surprised my life hadn't changed.  Simultaneously, I didn't take any actions that felt upstream for me. All of the actions I took felt good and felt right at the time.  I felt the wave of internal inspiration that made me act.  If an action felt really grinding or uphill to me, I didn't take it because it wasn't flowing.  In fact at that time, in my West Coast life, there were some things that were flowing, but there were some other things, and important ones at that, that were starting to feel very uphill.  I can't help but believe that it was like that so as to help me to redirect myself into the flow of my desired life.  

There's a funny thing about our desired life:  It is constantly changing.  But isn't it a little bit fun to hit a moving target?  My life desire is shifting a bit.  I feel myself wanting greater freedom.  Within that shifting desire, I am starting to see the path:  I see me working part-time; that's unusual in the realm of education, but I'm fully committed.  I only plan to choose that which flows for me.  I'm not exactly sure how that will come about, but I will keep my eyes wide open, and be ready to take action when the right situation comes along.  The truth is, that this is a medium-range plan in terms of time frame.  I am not looking for it to happen tomorrow, as we're on track to hit Coast-FI within the next two years, but if the opportunity comes sooner, we're open to it.  

In order to be open to an opportunity, we must align ourselves to it in the present moment.  Alignment means being open mentally and emotionally, making ourselves a vibrational match to that which we want.  But it also means preparing your life situation or environment for a potential shift.  People that are expanding their families or beginning to work from home align their spaces by preparing nurseries and offices at home.  What about our finances?  How do we align ourselves financially for that which we desire? What does it mean to get prepared for opportunities that could create a huge life-shift?  While I don't expect a huge shift of this nature to happen tomorrow, I must do the preparation that feels good in the now.  We cannot live in the past, or in the future.  Now is the only moment in which we can live; therefore, we can only really deal with the past or the future "on the level of the present," as Eckhart Tolle suggests.  

This is where visualization is incredibly helpful.  I ask myself, "If a huge, life-shifting opportunity were to come right now, what things would make it really easy to accept?  What would make it flow?"  The mind in me has a lot of ideas to offer (it loves to throw shade on an otherwise bright and sunny pathway).  It offers: What about medical/dental insurance coverage, retirement savings, liquid savings, and monthly income needs?  These are the things that can be taken action upon right now.  The opportunity that comes to me might or might not include insurance.  If it does, great.  If not, what are my options?  I can find out about these things now.  Right now, I can control my knowledge of my options.  It turns out that if my partner and I file domestic partnership in our state, I can simply be added to her insurance plan, which is identical to mine, and will not cost us any more.  Easy.  Monthly income needs: I don't know what my future opportunities look like, and I'm confident that they will provide me with plenty of money, but is there something I feel inspired to do right now?  Paying off our rental will increase our monthly take-home substantially; the side business I am starting will also provide some income.  Liquid savings: We're already saving quite a bit; just keep going.  Retirement savings: we're already contributing to our pensions; and there's a lot going into my Roth 401k.  I feel really good about that.  We have Roth IRAs, could open solo 401k's with the opening of our new business (as that's a special type of retirement account for the self-employed).  Being so close to Coast-FI, this isn't a huge concern, but rather, a mini-consideration.

One thing that I find on my mind is considering the length of time my partner will wish to work full time.  We check in periodically about this, and she has indicated to me that she doesn't have any "end date" in mind.  That being said, my soul's desire is to be prepared for her to change her mind at any point in time.  At the end of each school year, I want her to have to choose either to work another year or not.  Plain and simple.  I don't want our life decisions to be based on golden handcuffs.  If she chooses to work full time for another five years, her pension will be secured; another ten years (beyond May) will secure our health insurance through our retirement.  That would be our ideal, and that knowledge makes me feel very secure.  But, I cannot control the future, nor can I live in it.  Despite nearing Coast-FI, what can be done is further padding our retirement by way of her retirement accounts.  Also, she is the older of the two of us and will reach the traditional retirement age sooner, meaning we'll easily be able to access her retirement funds sooner than mine.  This is another reason why we might want to bulk her account up a bit more. Recently we bumped her contribution level up by a couple percent, but I think we'll do that several more times over the course of this school year.  Having a larger nest-egg could go a long way in compensating for the possibility that we "miss the mark" on securing health insurance for life.  While I'm very much attracted to that dangling carrot, I don't feel good about requiring her to keep doing something for that reason alone.  So, I feel inspired to "buy the choice."  

So, while I mentally and emotionally line up to the possibility of a life-shift that will bring greater freedom into my experience, I will also line up my finances and open the door of allowing these things to happen.  Right now that looks like: increasing her retirement savings and paying off the rental (which was already our intention).  What are the opportunities you're trying to align yourself to?  What things do you need to put into place, financially or otherwise, to be able to say "yes" if those opportunities should arise?  Taking appropriate inspired action now can line you up to an easy "yes" when it arrives.

Unlimited: Playing Catch and Release with Limiting Beliefs

Do you ever stop to think about why you expect things to be so hard?  I grew up hearing that "Hard work pays off."  In some respects, perhaps that paid off.  I am a "hard worker," a loyal friend, coworker, and employee.  I have a lot of attributes that make me someone that people want to hire, work with, and keep around.  These are all good things, but I can't help but think about some of the negative impacts the "Hard work" mentality has given me.  

Perhaps my problem is in the phrasing alone.  The connotation of "hard work" may have done as much damage as it has good.  While I believe that any "job worth doing is worth doing well," I'm not sure that "hard" has to come into play.  Over many years of psychological conditioning, it seems that it has set me up to having some limiting beliefs that are not serving me well.

I spend many years believing that work was something to be endured.  Isn't that the essence of "hard work?"  If it felt like play, would it really be "work" at all?  If it filled me with joy, didn't that mean I wasn't working "hard" enough?  If I spent all of my time with my head in the clouds pursuing my theatrical passions, did that mean I wasn't being adult enough?  I mean, seriously!  They call it a "play."  Ironically, plays are really a lot of work, but I digress...

I got used to the idea that "fun things" shouldn't make me money because they weren't really "work," and if they felt like play, then they weren't really "hard."  So, this meant I was violating the sacred policy that "hard work pays off."  But did it actually pay off?

I spent a number of years working in positions that I liked, but also detoured me from what I felt to be my larger purpose.  But hey!  That's "hard work," right?  I also stayed for too long.  I would walk right up to the line of misery and then stay for a few more years.  Isn't it supposed to be hard? Did it pay off?  Not really, I stayed too long.  I took time away from my larger purpose.  I was underpaid.  I didn't advance (which is fine, because I didn't really want to, but still).  When eventually, I moved on I didn't particularly feel ahead in my overall purpose, career, satisfaction level, or financial wellbeing!  Yet, "hard work" pays off?

I decided to get trained in something that I found very interesting, and has the ability to create a pretty nice income.  It's "hard" intellectually speaking, but somehow fun for me.  Sounds like a winner, right?!  Well, sort of...  Enter our friend "Limiting Belief!"  I took that training and started working for someone else that absorbed entirely too much of my time for very little pay.  There are some industries where you theoretically have to "pay your dues," but doesn't it make sense to at least look at the whole picture to ask yourself? While I enjoy this particular career area, do I enjoy it in this context? Will this situation get better?  Will they pay me what I'm worth?  Are they taking advantage of my skills, but robbing me of my time and my money?  

So, why do we do this?  Why do we continuously accept the wrong position, with the wrong people, for the wrong pay?  Why do we buy into the idea that work should be endured; that we shouldn't make money doing fun things?

Much like the Law of Attraction, The Universal Law of Self-Worth states that you can only attract that which you feel worthy of attracting.  It's very difficult to admit that you don't feel worthy of something; it feels entirely more vulnerable than most people's comfort level will allow.  Yet, we all have those areas, and many times they can be found in relation to work and money.  If I grew up believing this "hard work" ideology, it has set me up to believe that what I am worthy of is a position that will "allow me the opportunity to experience work as being hard."  Well, I got that.  In both the above examples, I experienced work as being hard.  And if the belief is that it takes "hard work to get ahead," and my goal is to get ahead, I am likely to keep putting myself in positions to experience work as "hard" rather than leaving them in favor of something that feels better.

What I, like many other people need, is some new programming.  There are two more Universal Laws that offer some wisdom that I find helpful.  The first of these is the Law of Release; let go of anything you no longer have use for.  This requires a certain amount of self-awareness.  We must realize that we are holding something that doesn't serve us.  Since we know that these things come up over and over again, we must continually watch our thoughts and catch the ones that aren't serving us well.  When I catch myself thinking that fun things and financially lucrative things aren't the same; I must notice, stop myself and let it go.  This will take practice, but it's worthwhile if the thought or belief doesn't serve our greater good.   The Law of Belief suggests that you can have whatever you want so long as you can give up the belief that you can't have it. So, the two ideas work in tandem.  In order, catch myself thinking the thought associated with limiting beliefs; practice releasing it; replace it with the thing I desire.

Reprogramming ourselves takes practice.  I am currently working on extending my business, the details of which will roll out shortly.  In the process, I find myself running into some limiting beliefs.  I catch my mind resurfacing old ideas.  It says things like "If you really want to help people, you can't charge them!  If you're going to make money, it shouldn't be that much!  Work is supposed to be hard, not fun!"  The first step is to catch it.  I notice that my mind is doing it again, and literally tell it to stop.  Stop the mind dead in its tracks the moment it comes.  At the very least if you can stop it from circulating the thought over and over again, you're moving in the right direction.  That part get's faster over time.  Then feed the mind a new idea, "People choose which things to spend money on, and do so if they feel it adds value to their lives. My prices are industry standard prices.  It is good to enjoy things and earn money doing those same things."  Saying such things one time, doesn't change years of programing.  We must be gentle with ourselves, and recognize we're going to have to play "catch and release" with our limiting beliefs for some time.  That's okay, it will eventually become second nature.

Now, my example involves one that I am currently running into in my own experience.  I challenge you to consider where you have limiting beliefs where money or career is concerned.  Do you have beliefs about "good people and wealth" going together, or what happens "every time you have money in the bank" or that you "will never be able to retire?"  I challenge you to try this week to catch some of your limiting beliefs.  Practice stopping yourself, and replacing the thought with a new belief, one that will serve you better.

I'd love to hear how it goes.

The Path of Least Resistance

If there's anything that living through this global pandemic has taught me, it's the art of being deliberate and thoughtful with my actions.  I the morning, I would mask up just before leaving the house to get on bus number one, then bus number two.  Enter the school building; immediately hand sanitize on my way to move my timecard and drop my backpack and coat at my desk; walk down to the restroom to wash my hands; return to my room; sanitize again.  This ritual has become second nature in my life, as in the lives of many others.

The other day, I finished teaching my in-person class and left to catch one of my two busses heading home.  As I stood in my place toward the back of the bus, my eyes happened upon a woman standing just a few feet from me.  She was talking to another woman, wearing her mask as a chin guard.  I turned my back toward her so as to avoid breathing where she exhaled.  Just as I positioned myself to have my back to her, I glance up again only to see that the old man seated a few feet in front of me had his mask below his chin, and the teenager two seats away had no mask at all.  This one particular commute illustrates a tremendous source of inner turmoil I've been faced with recently (since Labor Day really).  Every day that I teach in-person at my school, I am required to take four busses to commute there and back.  While the MTA may be taking appropriate action to sanitize busses and trains, I have been interacting with people whose  perspective on safe practices are in discord with my own.  

The Law of Resistance states that anything in which you resist, you draw unto yourself.  While I do my best to practice detachment in those moments on the bus and draw my attention to something that feels positive, I can definitely say that I have some resistance in that area.  What is resistance?  If you distill it down to its very basic essence, resistance is fear.  There's a funny thing about resistance, aka fear: you will encounter fear over and over again.  It will literally keep reproducing itself until you are forced to deal with it.

Strategies for Dealing with Fear/Resistance:

1.)  Change your mindset.

The last few weeks, we've spent some time talking about focusing on the present moment, as it is the only moment we're actually able to actively live within.   Focusing on the now really helps lower resistance because fear is largely attached to the future.  We need to practice centering ourselves by pulling our minds into the current moment.  Glance out the window and notice the raindrops or leaves falling.  Really watch them.  Perhaps, glance inward and notice how you are actually feeling in that moment.  If you try this you will notice that it is much more difficult to feel resistance (or fear) while you actively stare down the fear itself.  Once it has lessened just a bit, ask yourself "What can I do right now?" There are likely to be options, at least one of which will strike a chord with you.  If the situation that causes resistance is one that is likely to keep surfacing, it might also be worth considering "Is there a way to practice the manner in which I handle these situations that lesson my resistance to them?"

2.)  Change the situation (or your place within the situation).

Sometimes the situation causing the resistance literally doesn't need to happen.  Moreover, if it does need to happen, maybe my role within it is one that can be altered?  Do I need to be a part of this situation at all?  If so, do I need to interact with this situation the same way I have in the past (that has caused me resistance)?  It's important to realize that changing your position with regards to a situation isn't the same as ignoring it in order to avoid dealing with the problem. Remember, fears of a similar nature will continue to resurface over and over again until you find a way to deal with it.  

Strategies in Practice:

There are people in my life that have a lot of resistance surrounding the idea of retirement.  Many of them have a scarcity mindset.  They're resistant to the idea of investing, fearing that they will lose all of their money because investing is complicated and they don't understand it.  One such friend panics internally whenever related conversations come up.  First address the mindset.  This fear isn't actually a fear about what's going on right now.  Right now, this person is fine.  They're earning enough money, have some liquid savings, and spend less than they make.  This fear is 100% future based.  Starting by recognizing that they're not in a "dire place" right now is critical.  Next, consider what can be done right now?  They could open a brokerage account and fund an IRA, find an investment professional to help them, or start contributing to the 401k at work.  After considering what could be done right now, they might consider which of these options is the "path of least resistance?"  Yes, I am advocating for the path of least resistance.  They're already dealing with huge amounts of resistance and we're trying to lessen that.  Why would we want to select the hardest, most anxiety-producing option?  In this scenario, starting up the work 401k might feel manageable.  Then, when this fear comes back up (and we know it will), they can tell themselves that they've already started taking steps to address this, and invalidate that fear.  It will take time and practice to alter the course of a mindset that has been practiced over and over again.  But repeating the little actions that can be taken right now can and will help.  Especially if you consciously remind yourself that the fear is invalid or unnecessary when it comes back up.

There are other instances where changing the situation becomes necessary.  Before I started teaching, I had become extremely unsatisfied with my job.  I was greeted with a lot of resistance on a regular basis.  I felt that I worked too hard for way too little money, and no longer felt passionate about the work.  I felt like getting ahead was virtually impossible. Plus, there were certain tasks that really annoyed me.  First, I reflected on my mindset, asking myself whether or not there were things I still enjoyed doing there.  Next, I changed worked with my manager to change my position within the situation.  I switched into a slightly different role that provided me with more of the tasks I enjoyed and less of the ones that I didn't. I knew that I still wasn't entirely satisfied so I thought about what I would enjoy.  I thought back to some of the happier employment situations I had been in, and realized that I enjoyed teaching, and wanted to live in NYC again.  So, I started taking the actions that I could take in that moment, which included applying for programs that would help me become credentialed and employed teaching in NYC.  Within months, I was moving back to the city, and starting along a new career path.  I utilized the present moment to address my mindset, I changed my position within my existing situation, took inspired actions, and ultimately changed my situation entirely.  As an added bonus, addressing the resistance I was experiencing resulted in having my master's degree paid for and my income more than doubling.

Some of you may be wondering what has become of my current situation.  About a month ago, I made an appointment with my partner's primary care physician (I liked her so well I made her mine as well).  We looked at my labs, documented my family medical history, and chatted about my dietary and exercise routines.  At the end of the visit, she provided me with a letter suggesting that I should teach remotely in order to be cautious.  That same evening, I filed the appropriate request.  After that, I didn't really spend much time thinking about it.  I merely went on with my daily life.  Approximately three weeks later, I received notification that my request had been granted.  I am permitted to continue teaching remotely.

You see, the source of my resistance was related to being in crowded public places during this pandemic.  It didn't feel like something I wanted to be doing. Yet, I love my students and want to be able to provide them with the support they need.  When greeted with this resistance, I realized that it would be best for me to advocate for myself in an effort to change my position within the situation.  Now, I get to work with my very same students; It's simply the context that's changed.  

Remember, the art of overcoming resistance involves confronting the fear itself.  Sometimes, it's best to go with the simplest method of doing so whether it be a slight mindset shift, or changing your position within a situation, or the situation itself.  The path of least resistance isn't necessarily a bad thing!

Escaping the Past and Avoiding the Future

I've received a smattering of correspondences lately from individuals that are either terrified of their future or angry about their past.  It's an irresistible trap, but a trap nonetheless.   All these thoughts are good for is to serve the egoic mind, creating fuel for an illusion.

"To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation."

         - Eckhart Tolle, Practicing The Power of Now

Being trapped in time...  That's a huge issue where personal finance is concerned.  It's a trap that not only damages our relationship with money but also prevents us from living our best lives because we aren't paying any attention to it.  Our lives are happening right now.  While that might sound obvious, it's a thought worthy of attention.  Our lives are happening right now and we need to be present for it.

One woman expressed to me that she was experiencing a lot of negative emotions around a choice she had recently made with her money.  She allowed herself to spend a large sum of money, in a nonrefundable manner and was plagued with guilt, remorse, and self-loathing over the situation.  There was a moment when she realized what the result of her past behavior had created, and she very quickly reached out to me.  I could feel the emotion pouring from her as though we were sharing a moment in a confessional.  I'm still uncertain as to whether she was looking to be absolved or punished, neither of which I had the power to offer her.  She knew she never wanted to feel that way again. So, I invited her to consider "What does this inspire you to do?" She told me that this situation made her want to save money.  I asked her if there was anything else.  She offered that she wanted to open a CD (certificate of deposit) for a chunk of her savings so that it would be "locked up" so to speak.  She wanted to make it a little more difficult for herself to get at, but not impossible in a true emergency.  

This is what it looks like to reach for the better feeling, while simultaneously getting out of the mind-time trap.  This woman's mind was tricking her into living and reliving through memory, but that moment is gone.  The money was already spent.  The only value in reliving this memory was extremely temporary; the value lied in allowing her the opportunity to identify that she didn't care to repeat that feeling, nor the action that leads her to it.  From that moment of recognition, it is absolutely imperative to re-engage with the present moment.  Asking yourself  "What does this inspire me to do right now?" feels significantly better and more empowering.  There's no power in living in the past because we cannot take action there.  We cannot alter those past moments.  We can only use them to inspire our current actions.

The second person that I encountered this week had a related but opposing issue.  She is very much concerned with her future.  She is riddled with anxiety over her future retirement, as she is certain that she doesn't have enough.  The scarcity mindset that she is suffering from has left her all but paralyzed.  It is as if she's been zapped by a taser and rendered unable to move.  Furthermore, she is unhappy with where life is currently, and has projected this misery upon her future.  It seems that she has allowed her mind to trap her into a cycle of projection into the future, as she anticipates unhappiness from now until always.

It can be incredibly powerful to allow the mind to wander a bit to the future in order to try on the idea of an experience we might want.  In this way, it could inspire a current action, which can set us in alignment with that desired outcome.  However, it is dangerous to spend our present moment living in anticipation of the future, especially when it leads to ignoring the present.  This woman is largely unwilling to act.  It seems as though she is petrified of the outcome being exactly as she expects it (and she expects it to be miserable), but in the process of taking no action, it seems that she has taken an action.  No action is action, and it is an action that is unlikely to yield a desirable result.  You see, every day that she wakes up unhappy, and takes no action, is a day she continues in the flow of misery.  Now, why would you do that?  Well, the answer is that you wouldn't.  Not intentionally anyway.  She doesn't realize that she's playing into the mind's little trap.  

So, how do we get out of it?  There are a couple of different things happening here.  First, she's living largely in anticipation of the future (negatively at that).  Secondly, she is unhappy with the present (her employment actually).  Finally, she's afraid to take action.  As we've discussed, no action is action.  The reason someone would take no action is largely fear-based.  If the expectation is that the outcome of said action would be equal to or greater than the current level of misery, then the mind tells us not to bother.  The first thing that needs to happen is we need to delete the file in our brain that is labeled "the future."  The mind has assigned a series of fears to this file called "future" and is replaying that file over and over again.  Just delete it.  What we have is now.  

Now let's visit that now.  In the present moment, she is unhappy with work and concerned with her financial picture, feeling ill-prepared for retirement.  In these instances, I like to play "I would feel really good if."  She would feel really good if her work-life felt pleasant.  She would also feel really good if she was able to save a certain amount of money on a monthly basis."  So, how can we make those things flow?  What can she do that will make work more pleasant?  Are there some adjustments in this current job that would make it a positive situation?  Would it feel better to be employed elsewhere?  This is where the individual emotional compass comes it.  She might need to "try on" these ideas to determine what action feels inspired (or another option).  

The second desire was "it would feel really good to be able to save a certain dollar amount each month."  The word "able" jumped out at me.  What would make that situation flow?  Is there something that makes her "unable" to do this?  As it turns out her expenses are too high compared to her income to hit the saving target she has in mind.  Does this relate to the previous employment issue?  A different job perhaps?  A side gig?  Start a business?  On the expense side, are there a series of small expenses that could be trimmed that really add up?  Downsize to a smaller home?  Downsize from two cars to one?  It's important to brainstorm ideas that could actually be done in the present moment, and then "try them on" waiting for one of them to feel inspired.  You will know!  We always know when we're inspired to take an action.

There can be value in glancing at the past or to the future, as they can help us to determine what we want.  However, our best lives are built on a foundation we're inspired to lay right now.

Using Surrender to Move Forward

In last week's article, we discussed accepting the circumstances surrounding our current situation while
maintaining our identities as being separate from those circumstances.  We explored how to recognize the feelings of "being stuck" and how to utilize inspired action to mobilize from that place.  There is so much happening in our current environment lending itself to that feeling that it warrants further exploration.

In my daily life, there are practices that I maintain in order to take care of my being: exercise, meditation, reading, and reflecting.  While I may not complete all four of these items each day, I find that when I do most of these things, I find myself in a state of flow more easily.  Recently, I've been reading a couple of books, one of which is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  I am in the final pages of the book, and he is talking about the idea of surrender.  He states that "Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life."  There are words in this sentence that stand out to me: surrender, yielding, and opposing.  The word surrender seems a bit misunderstood at times.  It seems that we perhaps misinterpret it to mean that we are simply giving up on moving forward with something, and yet when I look this word up in the dictionary, it provides a definition as being "to cease resistance."  Generally, if we are in a state of resistance to some circumstance, we are giving entirely too much of our life's energy to something in which we do not want.  To use a popular Abraham Hicks metaphor, that sounds a lot like "swimming upstream."  Eckhart Tolle goes on to suggest that "to surrender is to accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation." One word that stands out to me is "moment."  Again, we've discussed this idea before, but it bears repeating.  A moment is literally the circumstance that is happening in the now.  If we guard our thoughts carefully, we can take care not to give that circumstance a past or a future, and thus we avoid wrapping our identity in something that is simply one tiny blip on the timeline of our lives.  Perhaps the great question is, how can we surrender to our current financial circumstance and allow that to flow into an inspired action that fulfills our desires for the future?

Identify the Financial Condition

There is a financial condition that we've been experiencing over the past several months (the span of Covid-19).  The condition is that our tenants have been unable to pay the rent roughly half of the months since March.  

How to Surrender to the Condition

This isn't the most pleasant condition to be experiencing.  I mean, no one gets into the rental real estate business to not receive payments.  It's okay to allow yourself a moment to recognize that this condition exists in this moment, and that it's not pleasant.  Watch your feelings.  It's okay to notice them.  Do not allow the mind to identify with the feelings that popped up in that moment.  The moment you allow your mind to connect your identity to the emotion you felt temporarily, you have given power to that emotion and to the condition itself; in doing this you give it a future.  If surrendering means to "accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation," then we must accept that we experience both the situation and the emotion in that exact moment.  Notice, how it doesn't say that you accept the current situation as being from now until forever. That last line was peculiar, wasn't it?  But that's often the way that we operate.  A situation arises at this moment and it is easy to identify with it and a negative emotion and then allow the mind to stew on it, and chew on it, and imagine it into the future.  Tell your mind to stop.  This is counterproductive, and there is a much better use of your brilliant mind than that!  When received the first of several emails about our tenants struggling with the rent, I acknowledged it, discussed it very briefly with my partner, accepted that this circumstance was happening in this moment, and then thought very little about it.

Ask: What are the things that come along with this temporary condition?  

In other words, are there more conditions that automatically flow from the first one?  Remember, part of Eckhart Tolle's description of surrender is "yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life."  So, what else (if anything) is flowing from this situation?  When I considered this, I understood that two more things were true in this moment:  I would have to pay the mortgage myself; also, my income will be lower this year. 

This is where it might pay to peel back the layers of the onion.  There were two things that flowed from the initial condition of my renters not being able to pay the rent: lower income this year and needing to pay the mortgage myself.  If I ask the same question about each of those conditions, "What flows from that?" and add "Is there any potential opportunity buried in there?"  Then I am transitioning from to the initial low feeling place into a higher one.   Raising my vibration with regards to this situation seems like a better way to emerge from it, doesn't it?  There is something inherently more hopeful about looking for a hidden nugget of gold among what appears to be a simple pile of trash.  So, let's see...

Analysis: What flows from paying the mortgage myself?

Well, the first thing that feels really good is that I have the money to make those mortgage payments.  That already lifts my overall emotional state.  But what flows beyond that?  These renters have lived in my property for a few years now, and prior to Covid-19, they'd only ever been late once, and never fully missed a payment.  Furthermore, based on the last inspection the management company performed, they take pretty good care of the place.  This all makes me think they're pretty likely to pay the back rent as per our agreement.  Also, I'm current on the mortgage and everything else.  So, as they increase their monthly rent payments in order to catch up, we'll start experiencing a bit of a windfall.  Money will feel like it's coming through the door more rapidly with nowhere it needs to be applied.  So, we'll have more cash and lots of options!  How great is that?  There seems to be an opportunity here!

Analysis:  What flows from having a lower income this year?

My renters are unlikely to pay this rent all back before the end of this tax year.  So, I can expect a lower tax bill this year as a direct result.  What flows from that?  Most years, I am making estimated quarterly tax payments because of that added rental income.  This year's loss of income means that I don't have to do that (as per the CPA).  I have also been splitting my retirement contributions in two different directions, in part because of the added rental income.

Quick Traditional Personal Finance Lesson:  At my place of employment I have some retirement account options that are traditional: 401k, TDA (tax-deferred annuity), and 457.  These are funded using pre-tax dollars.  If I fund one of these accounts it lowers my taxable income this year, which in turn lowers my tax bill this year.  So, a lot of people like to use this in order to help minimize their tax bills in the current year.  I also have Roth options: Roth 401k and Roth 457.  These are funded with money that I have already paid taxes on.  This means that they will grow tax-free.  Since the taxes were already paid, I won't be taxed when I pull the money out in retirement.  It's kind of like I prepaid the taxes for 70-something-year-old me.  I get super excited about my Roth accounts because they're such an incredible deal!

Currently, 20% of my income goes to retirement accounts at work: 13% into my Roth 401k and 7% into my TDA.  I greatly prefer the Roth 401k, but typically always have a tax bill as a result of the rental property.  So, one of the things I do to minimize it is to put use a traditional retirement account (my TDA) to make my taxable income lower, thus also lowering my tax bill a little.  This year, my tax bill will already be lower because of this situation with my renters.

Side Note:  I often refer to the mind as a drama queen, and suggest pushing it off to the side so as not to allow it to stew on things that you don't want to call into your experience.  I want to take a time out to point out to you that THIS is exactly the place to invite the mind back into the conversation.  This traditional personal finance information is exactly what the mind is designed for.  Your mind can learn it, organize it, sort it, and finally put it to really good use by helping you to apply the applicable parts to your current situation.  

Ask:  Do any of these things breed an internal desire?

This is where you get to the inspired action part!  Your mind did its part, and now you return to your intuition.  What do you feel inspired to do?

Paying the mortgage payment myself has greatly increased my desire to pay it off very quickly.  The urge is becoming tremendous!  I feel as though this is something that we will do within the next few years.  Furthermore, when this financial windfall comes (from the renters making larger payments to reconcile their balance), I have options:  throw it at the mortgage, further pad our savings account, max out our Roth IRAs, or possibly some bridge investing.  I will sit with these options until my intuition kicks in and I feel a sense of peace or inspiration hit me.  With regards to my income being lower this year, I feel really inspired to dial down the contributions on my traditional account (TDA) and ramp up the contributions on my Roth 401k while there's still time this tax year.

So, it seems that I have moved from a place of surrendering to a financial condition in my life to a place where I've found two inspired actions to take and am sitting with a few other options. What financial conditions are you experiencing in this moment?  Can you peel back the layers to find an inspired action that will propel you forward?

Inspired Action & Becoming Unstuck

The year 2020 has been filled with terror and heartbreak.  It's been wild because it appears that almost everyone is constantly surrounded by it in some form or another.  It's not even just the select few.  It's everywhere.  I know people that have been struggling to pay their rent; lost their jobs; been hospitalized with COVID.  They're feeling paralyzed because of the resistance they're experiencing.

This temporary paralysis is normal.  It's a reaction to fear and confusion.  When things go wrong, resistance will automatically pop up.  Eckhart Tolle stated simply that "Resistance is the mind."  The mind has a tendency to identify with the thing that went wrong.  If we lose a job, it tells us that we "are" jobless.  If it causes us to deplete our savings account or charge up a credit card, it says that we "are" broke.

Stop the Racing Mind

The first step is to stop and recognize the racing mind.  Watch it.  It's very difficult for the mind to keep going if you call attention to what it's doing.  

Accept the Moment

Despite what rhetoric your mind is feeding you, you are not a broken person.  You may not like the current state of your credit card debt.  You might not like the size of your bank account.  You might have been furloughed or even lost your job entirely.  This situation is temporary.  It's like wearing a sweater.  At this moment you are wearing a sweater.  The sweater is not your identity.  If you can somehow manage to accept that this situation is a momentary blip within the span of your life you can accomplish something powerful.  You can disassociate from it; remove it from your identity.  Some people spend their whole lives identifying as "poor" or "broke" or "indebted."  The moment you separate these things from your identity is the moment you regain your power.  

In The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle uses an example about a person being stuck in the mud.  He goes on to point out that you wouldn't just resign yourself to being stuck in the mud.  Now what you would do, is recognize that you are temporarily stuck in the mud.  You would also probably recognize that you don't really want to be there.  Where are you now?  Are you somewhere that you'd rather not be?  Have you found yourself running from a mountain of debt?  Working in job that you don't like?  Just recognize that you are in this place at this moment in time.  Don't judge it.  If you judge it you create resistance.  It is only from accepting the fact that you are in this place can you make a plan to get out of it.

Inspired Action

Once you recognize where you are currently; accept that it is your temporary truth, and cease to judge it, you should feel much freer.  Once this feeling of liberation comes, it will open the door of inspiration.  You likely will find yourself have little ideas coming into your mind; little inspirations if you will.  They will poke at you and prod you until you find yourself compelled to act on them.  It won't even really feel like hard work because you will really want to be doing the action.  There will be something that inspires you to do it.  This is inspired action.

I have historically had a tumultuous relationship with full-time employment.  Until the age of 28, I had only had part-time positions.  I would have multiple jobs at once, but none of them were full time.  I loved the variety and freedom.  At the age of 28, I became inspired to apply for (and accept) a full-time job.  Literally one month later, in 2008, the stock market crashed.  I was so grateful to myself because I listened to this little voice that inspired me to become employed on a full-time basis.  In fact, while I've changed companies, states, and positions, I have worked full time pretty much ever since.  In recent years, I've really started longing for the freedom I felt when I worked on a more part-time basis.  When you notice these kinds of feelings, you are standing at a fork in the road.  One path leads to misery.  That is the path of judgment and identification with the situation.  The other path is the one I choose.  I watch the feeling.  By recognizing it, I stop the mind from racing.  I accept that in this season of life, this is what I am doing.  It is not who I am.  It is my current circumstance, and it is what is happening now.  In doing this, I have already set myself free.  I can literally enjoy every day because I know that I am here temporarily.  It's like my life is a cruise vacation.  I am at this port for a time, and then I will float on.  How wonderful is that?  Once, I moved myself into this mental space, such wonderful things started to happen for me.  

I have been finding myself inspired to take a number of actions over the past few years.  I felt inspired to use the Roth 401K plan offered by my employer.  Every few months, I felt inspired to inch up my contribution rate.  I started at 5% and have wiggled it up to 20%.  I felt inspired to save money.  That one was so simple, but I just liked transferring money into our joint savings account as well as my solo account.  So, we keep doing that.  Now, we're prepared to go shopping for a Condo/Coop whenever we feel inspired to do so (haven't felt that quite yet, but we're prepared for it).  I felt inspired to create a plan to pay off our rental, and start my own business.  Both of these plans are underway.

When I step back and look at what my inspired actions have lead to, I realize that they lead me to hitting my CoastFI number in just over two years.  At that point, if I want to work part-time only again, I will.  What's even more beautiful is that I really love my life, even the parts that are difficult because I recognize that they are all temporary components.  Eckhart Tolle spoke about realizing that you're stuck in the mud.  I can't help but wonder if we might really come to appreciate the mud once we realize that it's only temporary.

The real question is: Where are you right now?  Can you work through this process to find your ultimate freedom?