Acts of Love: Where is your Money?

We've just come to the one-year mark since Covid began, or at least since our communities were forced to shut down many aspects of normalcy for the sake of public health. The feeling of loss has been intense and widespread.  It seems as though everyone has been touched in some way or another.  If there's anything that this pandemic has done, it's caused us to take a look at our lives, holding them up to a magnifying glass for further examination.  This is a good thing.  A life unexamined is a life without deliberate creation.  

I've had a number of realizations that aren't entirely new for me, but rather I've felt in a new and intense way.  As I look around my environment, I recognize that there is virtually no physical possession that holds more value to me than a lived experience.  We're living in these bodies for a short duration of time, and at the end of it, the most important things are ultimately the people we loved and the experiences we shared.  Personal finance is a bit of a game in some ways.  Oftentimes, we have some sort of goal in mind and set to learning as many rules as possible so as to achieve them in the best way possible.  I of all people enjoy the game of money, and that's a beautiful thing.  But let's not forget, our money is here to support our life experiences, and those life experiences are meant to support our relationships.  Doesn't that sound simple?

To be perfectly candid, some of this has been drawn into focus for me during this time for a couple of reasons.  I've experienced the passing of three very important family members in the past 15 months (all non-Covid related), and this slower version of life leaves ample time for reflection.  Though I recognize their spiritual selves are eternal, I grieve the loss of the physicalized versions of those I love so much.  Experiencing life after loss, alongside my family members, compels me to share something with you.

Our experience as a physical being is limited, and when it's complete, we will leave some people behind.  If we've touched the lives of others, there will be people that will grieve for us, and we would like to make things as simple for them as possible. We cannot dwell in the past, nor can we live in a future that hasn't happened yet, but we can do a few simple things right now as an act of love for those closest to us.

Down the road, we'll discuss wills, living revocable trusts, among other documents.  For now, I would like to start extremely simply.  Sit down and make a list of everywhere you are holding assets.  This list should include banks and credit unions where you hold accounts.  Document places where you have life insurance policies.  List any retirement accounts (401k, 457, 403b, IRA, pension, annuities) that you have.  Ideally, document addresses, telephone numbers, and account numbers associated with these assets.  You might also include information about the title of your car, your house on this list.

The purpose of this list is twofold.  The first is that you want your beneficiaries to know where your assets are, which brings me to the second.  You need to verify and update the beneficiaries associated with each and every asset you listed.  If you haven't updated the beneficiary on an account for ten years, you may still have your brother listed as the beneficiary.  Your life may be very different than it was when you opened the account, and you may need to make some updates.  Make sure you remember to check on houses and vehicles as well.  You want to be sure these things can easily pass to the appropriate family members.

Once you've generated a list and updated your beneficiaries, you have one more task.  You need to have some conversations.  They don't have to be long, but you need to make sure you tell your family members where this list could be found if needed, and inform them of your decisions regarding beneficiaries of your accounts, and any special instructions that may be necessary.  

As I look around me and witness so many life transitions happening within families, I recognize that we can't overly focus on future events that haven't happened yet, but there are a few simple acts of love that we can take in the now.  I hope that this year of reflection has been good for you all and that perhaps you too will find some small, simple inspired actions to take for your family. 

Dealing with Workplace Discord

Sunday night rolls around and the feeling of dread begins to present itself.  You know that come Monday morning you'll be walking into the lion's den.  There has been a lot of changes lately with new hierarchies, new structures, new protocols, and several of them impact what you do on a daily basis making you feel less like a valuable co-creator in the facilitation of the company vision, one you've always stood behind, and more like a cog in a machine of meaningless manufacturing.  There's something shifting within your workplace setting, but also within you and your experience of it.  You've been unsatisfied for some time, but now it's taking a turn into a bit of a negative spiral.  Where you used to go home and leave your work behind, you now find that you cannot shake the negative feelings that come up as a result of what feels like job toxicity.  Whether or not the environment itself is toxic doesn't seem to matter as much as the fact that it is no longer in harmony with your intended purpose.  You ask yourself, "Where to go from here?"

Workplace dramas impact us in a number of ways.  One of the most surface ways relates to the amount of time we spend at work.  A person that works a very literal 40-hour workweek, is spending nearly a quarter of their time at work.  This time commitment is rivaled only by sleep, and with most adults, not even that!  No wonder workplace discord has such an impact on our psyches!  

Furthermore, we can thank the egoic mind for contributing to the weight of work on inner peace.  The egoic mind loves to attach itself to work, making your identity dependent on it.  Thus when issues arise at work, it's as if a volcanic eruption has gone off in your world.  Divorcing your identity from work is a tall order, but there are a few small things that begin to make a large impact.  One such example may be a matter of semantics, but it has worked in my life.  "I am" isn't just a phrase.  It's a complete sentence.  "I am."  I don't really need any words after it.  Let me be clear.  I do a few things for income; one such thing is that I teach in a high school.  I am incredibly proud of my work in education.  That being said, I resist the urge to say "I am a teacher" because it makes me feel like my identity is somehow tied to my employment.  I prefer to say things like "I teach for a living.  I work in a high school with these fabulous kids."  The truth is that I do several things for a living and I genuinely enjoy all of them.  It's entirely too much of my time to be bothered doing things I don't enjoy.  That being said, "I am" is still a complete sentence.  

There's also something about introductions that feeds into the issue of personal identity being related to work.  Oftentimes, one of the first things that we do when we introduce ourselves to people is identifying ourselves by telling them what we do to earn income.  It's a rather strange thing to do, isn't it?  It also seems that social protocol dictates that you're supposed to pick just one thing that you do for a living and state that during an introduction as a part of your identity.  The truth is that I earn an income doing at least five completely different things, a few of which overlap.  If I introduced myself to people by stating that "I am" those five different things, it would be a little strange wouldn't it?  Why is it any less strange to introduce ourselves to people and lead with your name and the source of your income?  Theoretically, we judge people within the first minute of meeting them.  That was always what I was taught in my actor training, and it seems about right.  So, we're all putting ourselves in the position to have people judge the kind of person we are by our appearance, name, and occupation.  It seems like we ought to shake that up a bit.  Personally, I've started challenging that norm.  I like to try breaking that habit by leading with my name and something I'm passionate about.  It seems like changing that introduction and working to break the "I am" cycle could be a valuable first step in the journey toward breaking away from the identification with work.  Our identities also get entangled in our jobs when we're dependent on them, by the way, which leads us to another point.

Another fundamental reason that workplace toxicity impacts us so deeply lies on our dependence upon work for our security.  If I am dependent on someone or something in order to get my basic needs met, I am certainly not going to want to rock the boat where that thing is concerned.  My need for survival kicks in and takes over.  That's a relatively natural instinct I'm sure, but it can lead to an unhealthy relationship with work in that it becomes altogether too easy to submit to a feeling of helplessness which is about as low on the emotional scale as you can get.  Abundance does not flow from a feeling of helplessness.  In fact, this low emotional state will create flow in your life, but the wrong kind of flow.  It will create negative flow, as the momentum swirls in the direction of that which you don't want.  Now, how to move the current the other way?  Rather than wallowing in the sense of dependence on our current, primary employer, we need to create for ourselves a sense of independence.  This key mindset shift is on that is also a huge leap up the emotional scale from that of hopelessness and dependence. But how do we get there?  The mind likes to constantly remind us of this very practical life circumstance and use it to "keep us safe" but what if we could feed the mind something equally as valid and empowering in order to trigger a feeling of abundance and independence.  Wouldn't that feel great?

What if you had a secondary job, side gig, or personal business that also earned you an income?  Even if this income was lesser than the primary source, it would seriously decrease the pressure applied to your primary job.  If the financial weight of your lifestyle is distributed among more than one income source, it clearly alleviates a certain amount of dependence on any given one of them.  This is one strategy that is in play in my life.  My primary job is the largest single source of income that I have, but I have a number of others, some of which are in the entrepreneurial and side-gig arenas.

What if you had a rather large freedom fund?  In the financial independence community, this is often known as "FU Money," and while that term is empowering to some, it doesn't resonate with me. So, I call it my "Freedom Fund."  The concept is that you have a pile of money that is somewhat liquid that is build up large enough to allow you to walk away from a toxic situation if you need or want to do so.  I did this a number of years ago, and at this point, if neither of us was working, we could last 6-8 months on it alone without a single drop of income coming from another source or without raiding any other pots of money, which brings me to another point.

Living on one income.  As a couple, we are both employed with a primary, full-time job.  We also both have multiple other income streams.  We have budgeted our lives to one primary, full-time income.  In a practical sense, we could lose a lot of income sources entirely before ever needing to touch any Freedom Fund money because we only need one full-time income to meet our needs.  

The last one is actually two things that are fairly related:  financial independence (FI) and passive income.  In the simplest of terms, full FI is achieved when you have enough income from investments to allow you to live from the income they generate without having to work.  This can come from retirement accounts, royalties, rental real estate, or other types of investments.  In one way or another, I utilize each of these things, with a heavier leaning on rental real estate.  Not only will it eventually provide for me in my retirement, it also producing income that my partner and I can choose to utilize right now.  

The impact of workplace drama is a very real issue that impacts so many people in a negative way.  The truth is that it doesn't have to.  We just need to recognize that dependence on our employer and attaching work to identity is part of what is creating our suffering.  Dig deep and find the inspiration to wean yourself off of being financially dependent on your employer and remember that you are more than just your job.

Knowledge is Key: Rules for Rental Real Estate

Recently, we've highlighted the value of thinking outside of our original plan which flowed into a discussion about real estate and using a 1031 exchange to trade one rental property in for another one without incurring a tax bill in the process.  This really got me thinking about how important knowledge is in the flow of our money-lives.  I believe in the flow of money.  I also believe in using inspired actions in order to keep things flowing to our maximum benefit.  Those of us practicing the Law of Attraction utilize our inner guidance systems to aid in the decision-making process,  knowing that knowledge is still one of the critical pieces of the puzzle because knowledge is the fuel for inspiration that eventually flows into action.

A couple of recent examples that even fit within the real estate arena come to mind.  

Friend A and her husband sold a rental property they owned.  After the fact, she approached me.  She didn't know what to do with the proceeds and wanted to make a wise decision.  She was also nervous about the tax bill that would result in the sale of this property.  Unfortunately, she had never learned anything about a 1031 exchange and had already sold the property.  So, that tax bill would certainly be coming.  I didn't know that she was selling a property either.  She was certainly under no obligation to tell me about it ahead of time, but since I didn't know, I did not bring her attention to this strategy.   Interestingly, she and her husband were leaning toward trying to buy another rental property that had better cash flow for them.  This is a wonderful move to make no doubt, and had she known previously about the benefits of a 1031 exchange, they might have saved thousands in taxes.  Consequently, they'll end up with the tax bill and have less money to put toward a new purchase.

Friend B learned about a 1031 exchange when she spoke with a real estate professional in her life (and me) prior to the sale of a rental property show owned.  Since she had a little time with the information to absorb it and what it might mean for her situation, she was able to meditate on it and gain a vision for how using this strategy would allow things to flow in her financial life.  She started looking around at new property opportunities as a result and became inspired to pursue the 1031 exchange.  She's still in process with it, so we don't know how this story wraps up quite yet, but the point remains that a little knowledge has inspired her to take an action that will save her from a hefty tax bill and help her to increase her passive income pushing her across the threshold into financial independence.    

Now, both of these friends have a little bit of experience in rental real estate, but only a little.  What they don't know much about is what data to look at when purchasing a new rental property.  This little bit of knowledge can not only increase confidence in the purchaser's ability to assess an investment for themselves but also create an environment that will allow them to become inspired about a particular property or subsequently allow them to avoid buying a lemon.

When you are working with a realtor to purchase a property, they should be able to send you a certain amount of data with regards to any listings you may be interested in pursuing.  One number to look at is the Cap Rate, which helps you assess the profitability of a property, which I've written about previously.  There are a couple more pieces of data that your realtor can provide you that you can use to assess a rental property and they aren't terribly difficult.

Gross Rent Multiplier (GRM)

The Gross Rent Multiplier tells you how many years it will take the property to pay for itself based on the gross rents.  In order to calculate this number, you will take the purchase price and divide it by the amount of gross rent collected annually.   

So, if you paid $800,000 for a building that has gross annual rents totaling $60,000, the Gross Rent Multiplier is 13.33.  So, it would take roughly 13 years for the property to pay for itself.  

What is a good GRM?  This is the tough part.  This can vary from place to place.  You may want to ask your realtor if they have this information on your city or county.  The GRM on my property is 5.69, though recently I've seen others in the same area with GRM ranging from 10-17.

I like the GRM because it's a pretty straightforward number.  The Cap Rate is also useful, though it is more complex.  It's good to look at both of them because the Cap Rate accounts for expenses, where the Gross Rent Multiplier does not.

The 1% Rule

This is a super simple rule of thumb used by many real estate investors.  This rule suggests that the monthly rent should be equal to (or greater than) 1% of the total purchase price of the property.  This can also help people to understand how much they'd need to be able to rent a property for in order for it to cash flow the way they'd like.

If a property is purchased for $100,000 the 1% rule indicates that it should rent for $1000 or more.  If it rents for $900, it comes in just under 1% because 900/100,000 = .9%. However, if that same property rents for $1200 (1200/100,000 = 1.2%), it comes in just above that benchmark.  My rental property comes in at 1.75%.

Now, this isn't a rule that should make or break your real estate purchase, and you should absolutely ask your realtor how this applies to your local area.  However, this is a really nice way to evaluate possible investments and compare them to each other.

You know, I absolutely love learning these little guidelines and rules because for me they're fuel for inspiration.  When we first bought our house, we didn't buy it as a rental, we lived in it.  When we changed directions, we realized our home would make a good rental.  We didn't know all of these little data points before, and things turned out really well.  When we look at our Cap Rate, Gross Rent Multiplier, and the 1% rule, we realize just how wonderfully we did.  Now, should we become inspired to make another real estate move, we will be able to duplicate our success with confidence.

Are you currently looking at any real estate?  Would it (or your current home) make a good rental using the 1% rule or GRM?

  

Strategy: 1031 Exchange for Real Estate

Recently, in a chat with a friend that also owns rental property, she came to the realization that she might expand her thinking outside of her original plan. She realized that if she sold her current rental property and purchased a multiunit dwelling, she would be in an even better position than she is currently.  I briefly mentioned that a transaction of this sort could be performed without paying taxes on the sale of the original rental property by way of a 1031 exchange.

Let's dive into a bit about how that works.  First, it's important to know that there are multiple types of 1031 exchanges.  A Delayed 1031 Exchange is the most common, and the one we'll explore.  There are four basic steps to the process of this transaction.

Sell the Original Property

This step is pretty straightforward.  The one tricky part is that you have to decide that you're doing a 1031 exchange before the closing of the sale and identify a qualified intermediary.   The timing of a 1031 exchange is delicate and once the sale of the original property is complete, the timer has started!

Find a Qualified Intermediary

Once your property is under contract, you should be sure you identify a qualified intermediary.  You can't do a 1031 exchange otherwise.  A qualified intermediary is a company that holds the funds from the sale of the original property and is responsible for assisting you with the related paperwork.  They will also hold you to a timeline.  

Identify a New Property Within 45 Days

You will have 45 days from the sale of your original property to identify up to three replacement properties.  As long as you stick to the allotted three, you may identify properties of any value above the original sales price that you like, but if you identify a fourth property, some other special rules kick in.  So, shopper beware!  

Close Within 180 Days

There is a second timeline the qualified intermediary will hold you to, and that's the purchase date.  You must close on the sale of the new property (or properties) within 180 days of the sale of the original property.   If any of the applicable timelines are not observed, your 1031 exchange fails.  The worst-case scenario is that you end up paying taxes on the sale of the original property.  

Inspired action is at the very center of a successful law of attraction practice.  Knowledge and imagination often provide the best fuel for inspired action.  Without a little knowledge, how do we know what experiences to try on through imagining?  Continuing to learn and grow our knowledge base gives us something to get inspired about.  Now, whether or not my friend will pursue a 1031 exchange remains to be seen.  If she had never been educated about a 1031 exchange in the first place, she certainly wouldn't be inspired to pursue one.  Now that she knows, she can try it on through research, meditation, imagining, and eventually discover for herself whether or not it might be right for her.

Thinking Outside of the Plan

A wise person recently drew my attention to the notion that there is a certain "hustle mindset" that has become predominant among those in pursuit of personal finance.  It's certainly no surprise, as this messaging is consistently embedded into our culture.  "Where are you going?" is often asked of us, but "How are you getting there?" is not.  There is an emphasis on the speed by which we arrive at a particular destination, but little attention is paid to the manner in which we transport ourselves.  Perhaps it is also worth considering the idea that if more attention was paid to the journey, it might actually alter the destination.

The journey toward financial independence is often prescriptive, and for good reason.  There are tried and true methods that have produced results over and over again.  Now, I can't help but wonder: What if there's actually a better destination than the one you had prescribed for yourself?  I was in the periphery of a conversation recently where an individual was expressing concern about the state of their finances, and whether or not they were on track to meet a certain goal.  As this person listed all of the various things they had invested into, and the sums they had accumulated, and the payoff dates of the various things in their lives a myriad of questions began to gnaw at me.  I wanted to know: What did this person absolutely love to do?  What brings them joy?  When was the last time they felt truly inspired, and what made them feel that way?  Did they even know?  Any adjustment that anyone could offer to this person with regards to their financial plan would be minuscule at best.  This person genuinely has everything on lockdown, and yet I felt a nagging sense that perhaps they might need to look at things a bit differently.  I'm not sure they need much of a financial checkup, but perhaps a lifestyle check-up.  I'm not referring to spending.  I'm referring to inspiration.  Sometimes, we get so locked into our plans that we fail to make room for inspiration.  Inspiration needs room to breathe.  When life becomes destination-oriented we run the risk of missing out on gains that are even better than we could imagine because we've only left room to do exactly as the plan dictates.  

I know a person that has a nearly paid-off rental property.  She has long since perceived this property as part of her long-term financial plan.  She loves the idea of having passive income and real estate that's paid in full.  She uses a management company, a move which simplifies her life and is well worth the expense. Truly, this plan is flowing for her.  If she stays the course, she will do quite well.  Because she knows this and it's all flowing for her, she has literally never even entertained the idea of selling it despite the fact that if she did, she could easily fetch 4x her purchase price for the property.  Besides, then she would have to pay taxes on it, and her passive income would be gone.

What if this person were to allow their minds to wander; to frolic among the possibilities?  She's been so married to her plan, that in all honesty, she hasn't really entertained a variety of options where her rental is concerned.  One day, I was chatting with her and we decided to take a hike into the hypothetical.  What if she sold that property?  She could defer the taxes by doing a 1031 exchange (this allows you to avoid paying taxes on it if you sell one property and purchase another within a specified period of time; there are a lot of rules involved, so don't try this until you've done your homework on it).  As it turns out, this would allow her to put 50% down on a 4-plex in her area.  The remaining mortgage on the 4-plex would be covered (including taxes) consistently by having two units rented.  The income on the other two units would be hers.  Interestingly, the income from the remaining two units would be almost double the amount she will receive from her current rental property even after it's paid off.  To be truthful, this woman was flabbergasted by the entire idea and how doable it actually seemed.  She's not a huge fan of debt if she can help it, and may stick with her original plan.  That's absolutely fine.  But by being so intent on her original plan, she wasn't even allowing herself to engage in an experiment of the mind.

A mental experiment can be tremendously valuable because it lowers the stakes and subsequently invalidates the mind's automatic fear of failure and making room for natural curiosity to plant the seeds of inspiration.  Fear is often what keeps us from deviating from a plan.  We don't speak up at work because we fear losing our jobs.  We don't learn about investing in the market because we fear losing everything in a crash.  We don't quit a job to start our own business because we fear losing the perception of security.  The mind utilizes fear as a tool in order to keep us safe from harm, but when misused, it can prevent us from exploring the possibilities around us.  This woman may actually stay the course and keep her current property.  She may decide at some point to sell it, do the 1031 exchange, and invest in a multi-unit dwelling.  Either choice is a very smart money move.  She's winning either way.  That's one of the key takeaways here.  This isn't necessarily a win-lose scenario where if she chooses "X" she'd clearly be making a mistake.  She is likely to win either way! How fabulous is that?!  By opening her mind to possibilities outside of her original plan, she has discovered that there may be something out there for her that turns out even better than she imagined it.

So, please don't be in such a hurry that you miss out on the opportunity to flow into something better.  No doubt your plan is amazing, but there might just be something even more amazing just around the corner.  Don't be so blinded by racing against an invisible clock that you miss it.

Preconceptions of Wealth

Interestingly, there is a topic that keeps being brought to my attention lately.  I've heard it mentioned in a podcast, two different books that I'm currently reading, and in multiple conversations with people.  I haven't been the one to bring it up on any of these occasions, which is interesting because I'm frequently the culprit of such things. I can't help but wonder if there's something in the collective psyche that's making this topic burble to the surface.  The topic: preconceptions of wealth.

In the course of an otherwise casual conversation, I was surprised to encounter a preconception of wealth held by someone in my life.  This person believed that certain types of assets were designed only for the rich.  My initial reaction was that of surprise because I feel very differently.  I don't necessarily feel that there are asset classes that are inaccessible to me or designed for someone else.  While I prefer some asset classes over others, I believe that I have the freedom to use whatever inspires me provided I do my homework sufficiently to understand it.  A lot of my work is at the intersection of personal finance and the law of attraction which subsequently has to do with the relationship between mindset, emotions, and behaviors.  So, naturally, I was curious about the history of this idea and the narrative being built around it.

We all have some preconceived notions when it comes to the subject of money, and they often influence our behaviors in the form of limiting beliefs.  In the book Invested, Danielle Town was most certainly smacked in the face by hers when she realized that they were impacting her investing practice.  According to Town, the first step to reducing the power our preconceptions about money have over us is to face them.  I couldn't agree more.  In the course of the discussion I was having earlier this week, the person articulated that they hadn't ever experienced anyone in their life having assets in the particular class we were discussing.  For them, it seemed inaccessible.  Now, I couldn't help but wonder about this and found myself with a reoccurring thought.  Is it possible that this wasn't even true, that people in their life did in fact have investments of this nature and never spoke about it?  There are many segments of American culture that hold to the belief that we shouldn't discuss money, an idea that in my opinion does more damage than it does good.  When we are young we learn about finances experientially and through things we hear people say. As we go through life, we often look for things that support the narrative we build around those early experiences.  But is it possible that we create evidence that supports that narrative?  

In The Illusion of Money, Kyle Cease draws the reader's attention to several commonly held beliefs about money.  One is that "money is the root of all evil."  He goes on to suggest that one of the dangers of holding on to this belief is that it can create resistance to abundance.  It's quite the realization.  Presumably, most people don't want to be evil.  So, if there is a belief that the possession of money somehow creates evil, there's certainly room for resistance to creep in: resistance to holding it, saving it, utilizing it as a tool, or allowing it to flow into your experience.  Once a limiting belief is discovered, is there a way to challenge it or feed it as a new idea?  The opposite idea might be that "money is the source of so much good!"  Is that true?  Can you find evidence of the new idea?  I can think of a lot of good that can and is done with money all the time.  Money can fund a plethora of things ranging from schools to charities to valuable experiences, all things that are good.  

One commonly held belief that I remember hearing growing up is that "money doesn't grow on trees."  Cease mentions this one as well.  Unlike the previous example, this one resonates with me a bit more.  Cease goes on to suggest that people with this limiting belief might "overlook opportunities where money seems easy."  Ouch!  If you've been reading my work for any amount of time, you know that I've had to deal with that one.  I wrote a piece about it, actually.  While it takes practice overcoming our limiting beliefs, I feel that I've made tremendous progress.  Gratitude, which is central to my law of attraction practice, has been instrumental in helping me overcome self-imposed limitations.  Again, I look for evidence of the opposite being true.  If my limiting belief suggests somehow that things related to money are supposed to be "hard work," can I find evidence where the opposite is true?  Has money flowed to me easily?  Actually, it really has!  I am nearing the end of the planning phase of my new business, and clients are flowing to me relatively easily.  I'm so engaged in the work I am doing that it feels joyful, not hard.  The service I am providing is very much adding value to people's lives, and the people that are ready to benefit from it are flowing to me.  I'm so appreciative of that, and it supplies me with ample evidence that suggests that my preconceived notion about money isn't really true.  I love that.  Not only is it wonderful that this abundance is flowing to me, but it's also amazing that it is allowing me to shed a belief that doesn't add value to my life. 

I would like to invite you all to challenge yourselves in the days to come.  What preconceived notions do you have in the areas of finance, wealth, or overall abundance?  Is it possible that the opposite is really true?  Can you find evidence that refutes that idea?  Is your behavior suggesting to you that you may have built a narrative around an idea that isn't serving you well?

Planning to Defy Societal Norms

What do you do when you want to make a change?  A big change, like the kind that turns your whole life upside down...  What do you do?  Do you even let yourself go there or do you slog on day after day, doing exactly what you've always done?  Society's script often pressures us into leading lives that may or may not be our best.  But who made those rules, and why are we blindly following them?

I'm the kind of person that has lived their life outside of the box more often than within it.  I find myself happier marching to the beat of my own drum.  When I started college, I spent the first year going part-time, while working a professional job I could change my residency status to in-state.  I moved to New York to study musical theatre, spent the better part of two years living bi-coastally in my late twenties, and the examples go on.  Right now, there are parts of my life that seem to be following society's script, and if I'm honest with myself, I'm not sure it's entirely me.  Despite being almost a decade older than the last time I made a ginormous leap into the unknown, I believe it can be done at any age.  It might just look a little different than it did before.  So, here are the basic steps to creating a plan to defy societal norms at any age.

Step 1:  Dare to Dream

If you had literally zero limitations, what would you do with your life?  Where would you work?  Where would you live?  What would you be doing with your days?  What would your hobbies be?  How much stuff would you have?  Who would be with you?

As you know, over the course of my life this has happened multiple times for me, and it's in the process of happening again.  We're living beings that are constantly changing.  Our visions for our lives must also change.  About ten years ago, I was living on the west coast when I had the realization that I wanted something a little different than my life at the time.  My life was pretty good really.  I had bought a house, had a lovely partner (whom I am with to this day), and wonderful friends.  I produced art and had a steady job.  But a piece of my heart was still in New York.  I felt like I was selling myself short by staying where I was; it was a lovely life, but I wanted to give myself a chance to succeed at some things that would be incredibly difficult where I was living.

I feel the winds of change coming again as my desire for a higher level of freedom sets in.  As I design my own life, I let myself dream without limits.  I picture my home base in New York always, but lots of slow travel to places where my loved ones reside, and plenty of places I've never experienced.  I see myself writing, teaching in some fashion, and producing art again. When we were kids, we allowed ourselves to dream without limits.  Why did that change?   Who decided that once you passed a certain age, all of your dreams had to fit some unknown entity's definition of practical?  While some of the finer details of the individual dreams will fall away, others will inspire action.  I am not 100% sure of where this will take me, but I know there are certain elements present in all of them and that it involves me producing more art, and moving toward greater location and time independence.  

Step 2:  Find Support

There are so many people in life feeding you a script about the way your life should be.  If you are going to defy the way life's being prescribed to you, do so unapologetically! If you plan to go against the grain, you'll need to surround yourself with people that are either going against the grain themselves or respect and support the fact that you want to live your life a little differently.   

When I decided to move back to New York, my partner very nearly had a heart attack "We just bought this house three months ago!"  But I laid out my reasons and ideas, and within about three days she was fully on board. My family and friends were also fully supportive.  They all know that I march to the beat of my own drum and have no desire to make me be the perfect model of societal expectations.  Thank goodness, because I'd be miserable.  I also had some support in the destination I was headed toward.  I lived in New York City many years before that and had a few friends that lent support.  A couple of them let me stay at their places for a night or two while I was in town for interviews.  A couple even let me move in with them for a bit while my partner and I transitioned from one place to another.  Sometimes, your friends, family, and partner provide the majority of the support you need.  Other times, you need to seek support in other ways.   

Currently, I am participating in a group coaching program that falls under the category of "lifestyle design," which is conducted by my friends, the Fioneers.   The magic of participating in this kind of program is multifaceted.  It challenges people to dream big and without limitations as I described in Step 1.  While this hasn't been an issue for me, the group process requires me to prioritize this in my life.  It's entirely too easy to decide you should be doing the dishes rather than daydreaming, right?  Group coaching also provides a structure and time frame for those dreams to be transformed into inspired action.  While individuals are always in control of their own timelines, it wouldn't make a lot of sense to spend the time and money to participate in a life design program if you didn't intend on taking any action?  Additionally, the group support and coach are a huge asset emotionally, but also in terms of brainstorming options when you feel stuck.

Step 3:  Make a Plan

The best plans start with the question and end with inspired actions.  Ask yourself,  "What needs to be true that isn't right now?"  Honestly, this is where the subject of money often pops up.  We've been cultured to believe that money is the reason we are supposed to be shackled to society's script.  But what if money could actually be the key that releases us from all of that?  Does that idea feel better? 

Right now, one of the things I'm thinking is that I want to go gallivanting whenever I want in an old school VW van.  Sounds a little wild, right?  The good news is that I have my partner's full support on this.  How much of the year would we go?  I'm not sure.  Maybe just summers at first.  What has to be true that isn't true right now?  Well, we don't have a cool VW van.  So, we need to research that and prepare our finances to add a vehicle into our lives.  Currently, we don't have a vehicle at all. We would buy one outright; I'm not interested in any loans.  But, we'd still need to prepare for fuel, insurance, and parking fees.  So, there's probably a savings goal that needs to be considered, and a budget review to understand where this monthly financial commitment would fit into it.  Would this replace our monthly metro passes?  Be in addition to that?

What if we wanted to (hypothetically) start doing this for more of the year?  We would need our income sources to be such that allowed for location independence. Thus far only a small portion of our income meets that standard in a long-term sense.  What would help us to achieve this?  We could pay off the mortgage on our rental (Hmmm...  that seems to keep coming up), ramp up our side business...

Now, what takes this from the realm of idea to a plan?  Time.  I've identified four things to do: create a savings goal, mortgage payoff goal, business ramp-up goal, and finally, revising our budget to determine how quickly we can achieve these items and with which funds.  This will help facilitate your desire to live outside the box in the near future, but what about planning for the distant future?

Step 4: Consider the Future

I realize this dreaming and planning is about your life in the near future, but it's important to also consider the more distant future.  I'm a Slow FI kind of gal, and I'm all about improving my lifestyle along the way to financial independence, but that does not change the fact that financial independence is actually a goal too!  I am about two years from my Coast FI number.  So, in about two years, I will have secured a traditional retirement for myself and my partner.  This means that we won't really have to worry about putting more funds into retirement accounts (though we likely still will), and our retirements will be secure.  This provides the freedom to focus primarily on generating enough income to meet our regular monthly expenses.  If you haven't met your Coast FI goal yet, retirement savings should still be a part of your planning.  If your dream life doesn't involve a regular 9-5, consider what retirement vehicle you will want to use to continue to save toward that portion of your future.  This might include SEPs, solo 401ks, IRAs, or simply some bridge investing.

And the final step:  Let Go! 

Trust that you've been deliberate in the creation of your life and reality because you have.  You've dreamed, found support developed a plan, considered your future.  At some point, you just have to spread your wings and fly.  Just think of the places you'll see.